Are you the person standing over in the corner at a networking event, with your feet stuck to the floor, unable or unwanting to take that first step and plunge into the crowd of strangers?
You’ve been referred to as “shy,” and, while we all feel shy at one time or another, you’re noticing that it is holding you back from making connections that are essential to your career development. You have specific objectives; be it finding your dream job, or attempting to expand your client base, and know networking is a critical component.
If you’re shy, you’re likely an introvert. Among many qualities like being very reflective and having close relationships, you also draw energy from solidarity and may feel tired after social activity. Being introverted does not mean you do not enjoy networking, nor that you’re conditioned to feel uncomfortable; it means that networking will require some effort; effort, that in turn will make it easier to face that crowd of strangers at a networking event.
Here’s what that looks like:
1. Get prepared ahead of time
Going into an event with an idea of who you’d like to speak with, the questions you can ask them, or the things you’d like to share about yourself is an essential step to feeling confident when you go to an event. You don’t want to rely on the other person to carry the conversation for you, because you’re there for a purpose too. Before you go you should prepare:
- What you’d like to share about yourself; this will include your elevator pitch, and potentially some other selling propositions about you. Read More on The Perfect Introduction.
- Who you’re going to speak with, and what you’d like to talk to them about (you can even do some research online, and prepare some questions ahead of time).
- Some general conversation starters and chit chat, so that you feel comfortable with ice breakers and conversation starters.
2. Bring a friend, or make a friend
There is something about knowing at least one person at an event that makes it less nerve-racking. Bringing a friend, even if you both work the room independently, makes it so that you can more easily join conversations, facilitate introductions, excuse yourself, and take a break from the chit chat and the social pressure.
If you don’t bring a friend, strive to make one early on. Find out what kind of events they go to, and coordinate to overlap so that you have a friendly face in the room each time. Over time, the number of familiar faces will grow, and networking will be that much less intimidating.
3. Be a good listener
Asking great questions is just one essential component to building a healthy relationship. You also need to listen carefully to the answers, and that often involves reading between the lines.
Sometimes, the person you are talking to doesn’t know you can help them–and it’s on you to figure that out. Capitalize on your strengths, which includes good listening, by encouraging them to talk about their passion and interests. From these, you can quickly glean how their needs might intersect with your capabilities and connection. That’s where the magic happens!
4. Smile, smile, smile
A huge part of networking is body language; just as you are trying to identify opportunities to introduce yourself, others at the event are trying to achieve the same thing. Even if you’re feeling closed off, try to consciously have open posture and a smile on your face as you navigate the room. You want to angle your body so that you’re not directly shutting anyone from approaching you, and respond to eye contact positively so that people will approach you to start a conversation.
5. Be Yourself
You’re not the kind of person that likes to be the center of attention, so don’t try to be, be your authentic self. People are much more likely to connect and like you. You can take advantage of your listening skills, and your natural ability to pick up on other people’s thoughts and mannerisms. What you’ll notice, is that you’re not the only introvert in the room.
Maybe there is a man in the corner who looks as you once did, not making a lot of eye contact and hovering by the buffet. You can be the person to break the ice for them and draw them into the conversation. A great starter is “Have you been here before?
